Little Bear: The End of Innocence

I have a five and a half year old boy and I've been calling him "Little Bear" for years. Every time I say "Little Bear", he responds with "Papa Bear". I never prompted him, he just did it. What child hasn't heard some stories about bears, including a Papa Bear? Good night Little Bear, goodnight Papa Bear. Hey Little Bear, let's go brush our teeth, okay Papa Bear. It's so cute, and I have to admit, I like being Papa Bear!

A couple of days ago, Little Bear asked me "why do we call each other bear?" I told him that I started calling him Little Bear when he was very young, and that it's a nickname I gave him. This question made me think. He has never asked a question like this, and he has always just accepted the things I tell him. For the most part he still does, after-all, he is only five, and not exactly a critical, objective thinker. Not yet anyway. But the fact that he asked this question tells me that he is on his way, and it won't be long before he starts asking lots of other questions too. Questions that I may not know the answer to, and questions that might make me uncomfortable. Questions that indicate he no longer accepts everything he hears at face value, that there is more to know about a subject, a tradition, a belief, and a reason for acting/reacting the way we do in certain circumstances or around certain people. Since I don't have other children, or experiencing raising children, this is all new to me. Sure I have an opinion about how other people ought to raise their children, and sometimes I share that opinion, and sometimes I bite my lip. It's not my place to tell others how to be a good parent, unless they are open to feedback and ask for my advice. 

My responsibility to my son is paramount to everything else. All decisions have to be in his best interest (although that is my motto, my actions aren't always reflective of this). When it comes to answering questions, and I know this is just the beginning, I need to do my best to answer honestly. If I don't know the answer, I need to be comfortable telling him that I don't know (without diluting the whole "super hero dad that knows everything" fantasy). I'd like to be able to tell my son that "I'm not sure", or "I don't know, but that's a good question, let's go find out". Then follow up with the research, the experiments, the explorations, the questions, the discussions, etc., and show him that there are tools we can use to find answers to the questions we don't know the answers to. Kind of like the whole "teach a man to fish" parable. 

The age when children are totally dependent and see their parents as the "smartest, strongest, wisest" person in the whole wide world is a magical time. But the end of innocence is just around the corner and I want to be ready. I want to be able to show my son that, for all my faults, I do the best I can. I want to share what I've learned from my mistakes, and accept that these "life lessons" will not necessarily deter him from finding out for himself and making his own mistakes. I want to show him that the quest for truth, knowledge, justice, and compassion is a righteous path and one that lasts a lifetime. Even better than showing him, I'd like to see him discover this on his own. I can live my life as an example, and hopefully he will see the results himself. But mostly, I'd like to be Papa Bear for a little bit longer, as he will always be my Little Bear. 

~dhub